Facebook has the very odd ability to make me feel happy, excited, joyful, jealous, sad, and depressed just by scrolling through my news feed. I have a new little niece and she might be the cutest thing in the entire world. My friend just got a new puppy and he might be the happiest, fluffiest puppy in the world and you can’t help but want to hug him. Then there are the happy couples engaged to be married and people who just announced their relationships. But like life, Facebook doesn’t sugar coat it. Last night, while I was listening to the bang and pop of fireworks fired off a few blocks from my house and welcoming the New Year at home with my family, a friend, a few time zones away, was fighting for her life.
In the event of a death, there is a huge tornado of emotion from anger and denial to acceptance and tears. The huge list of messages from people you barely knew typing, “RIP” goes on and on and reading each one of those messages feels like a sharp edge cutting in to your skin.
No matter how many times we say it. No matter how many times we see it. We still don’t get it. We forget how short life is and we take it for granted. We take if for granted everyday that we are alive. We take it for granted that we can wake up and see the sunrise the next morning. We take for granted the soft snoring sounds of the people you love surrounding you as you lay awake in bed. The quiet creek of the house above your head and the soft breathing of your loved ones cover you like a warm familiar blanket. We take for granted that warm fuzzy feeling we get when we are full, happy, and surrounded by the ones we love.
Instead, we complain that the house is not quiet. We complain about things everyday that we will soon miss. Because when we are alone we yearn for that soft snoring sound. Instead we hear the echoing sounds of silence.
People always make New Year resolutions that fail within weeks and sometimes even days after starting. But this year will be different. I won’t make impossible resolutions. Instead of being stuck in the past or focused on the future, My New Year resolution is to live in the present. I will be grateful for every tear, heartache, smile, and laugh because every day I feel those things “I am alive.”